"wow! who taught you to do your makeup like that?"
"wow! who taught you how to make that?"
"wow! who taught you-"
why do you know so much about sex
why are you so calm about porn
Why do you know so much about murdering people
So I was writing a small paper in Microsoft Word and the program suddenly crashed (I saved a couple minutes before, thank god) and I get this message in the corner of my screen two seconds afterward
what the fuck
SO I ACTUALLY DID THIS A FEW MONTHS AGO AND I DIDNT EVEN THINK THEY LOOKED AT THIS SORT OF THING SO BY THE TIME THE DELIVERY MAN CAME I HAD FORGOTTEN THAT I WROTE THAT AND THE GUY WAS REALLY CUTE. WHEN I OPENED THE DOOR HE WAS SUPER FLUSTERED AND DROPPED HIS PEN, THE BAG HOLDING THE PIZZA AND THE RECEIPTS. THEN after i signed the receipt and he was getting ready to leAVEEEE HE GOES “So… umm… did you actually put that?” and i was like “put what?” and he goes “… to.. um… tell you.. um that you’re pretty” omg it hit me that this was why he was all nervous and i started cracking up omfg then he told me that i was pretty.
i did this once but when the guy came to the door I sent my friend Martin to get the pizza and I heard muffled laughter and then Martin came back into the room with the pizza and whispered “he told me I was pretty”
This is on my bucket list
this is not ok
telling time just got 300% more confusing
aesthetically interesting, cognitively nightmarish
Teacher: What’s the time?Me: *Mental breakdown*
OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE
THEIR SLOGAN IS “STRONGER THAN GREASE”
AND I WAS LIKE OKAY YEAH MAKES SENSE FOR A DISH SOAP- WAIT
AJAX WAS A GREEK SOLDIER RENOWNED FOR HIS STRENGTH
AJAX IS STRONGER THAN ALL OF GREECE
someone who worked at ajax has literally waited 66 years for you to get this
Why are you saying “oh no” there’s a reason the condom was there. Would you rather whoever took it to go have unsafe sex?
SHIT OH NOES